He's History - Ba Bye

It's funny how one second your heart is still aching and the next you're like 'Meh...never mind'

Haha well that's me.

I remember listening to 'Beautiful Things' by Tori Kelly one morning, thinking I was already over him, but apparently not. I kept missing him that day and was feeling really sad 'cause that should've been us!! (Yes, it's another Tori Kelly song haha) In the end, I couldn't resist but WhatsApp him and told him I miss him. He says he misses me too. But due to certain complications, his actions and words kept me hanging halfway, not knowing to get over him or to keep holding on. So to put an end to my misery 'cause I've got shit tons of things to do, I asked him 'Do you still love her?' He said yes. 

Well okie~~ that was all I needed to know. I closed the chapter on him. I've told him that if I choose to walk away, I won't look back. "Are you sure you're not going to regret this?" He says he knows he will. *rolls eyes*

Well too bad for you hon, you had your chance and you blew it. I'll be the best thing you never had. Boo hoo.

After I decided to forget about him, I did. Only 24 hours had passed and my friend was like 'Don't miss him anymore oh...' I'm like 'Him who?' Hahaha... Can't believe I spent all those late night hours talking i-don't-know-what to him instead of sleeping. Dude, you just wasted my youth!

Letting go of the things that aren't good for you or that are just a waste of your time, is AWESOME.

Now he can kiss my pretty shadow goodbye cuz I've made him history. 

Boy, you ain't in the present no more and you definitely not earning a spot in my future.

See ya never. 

My Heart Still Races

I was at the mamak stall eating dinner with my housemate tonight. I was seated facing the street. Just when we were finishing our food, I saw a red Ford Fiesta drive into the lane that leads to my hostel. I thought, "Could it be him?!!"

I had left my phone and my keys in my room because I asked my housemate to bring along the keys. I'd only brought enough money to buy food. "What if it's really him?! What if he's here to tell me he's broken up with her? Is it possible? What if he's calling me right now?? What if it's not him after all?"

I have nearsightedness so I couldn't see the car plate number. But the car was waiting right in front of the guard house. My heart was racing at this point of time. "Shall we go back now?", I asked my housemate. Then I proceeded to pay. Out of all the days possible, my housemate took what seems like the longest time ever to pay his bill! 'What if he's calling me and I don't know and he gives up and drives back home??? Oh my goodness...is it really him?'

Finally my housemate is done paying and we walk back. I scanned the perimeter for his car. I couldn't find the red Ford Fiesta. 'When did the Ford Fiesta leave? Or maybe he's gone inside? Nah...that's not possible...Is it?' With still some hope left in me, I searched for his car in the visitor area but no. No red Ford Fiesta cars.

'I knew it.'

My heart still races and catches hopes out of thin air for you. No matter how small the possibility because it still could be possible.